Wednesday, 19 March 2008
I'm already nothing to you huh ? Nothing worth remembering, nothing worth thinking. Nothing of any sort. I'm basically out of your life. I've become invisible. Simply vanished from your life. I can't believe, those days spent. Those hours... You not being there, i thought it was okay, after all, your parents are strict. They don really allow you go out. I could live with that. All those times when you said you missed me. Were they ever true ? Sometimes when you do get to go out, you go out with your friends. i never complained cause i know you still need your friends just as much. Us SPENDING lesser time than normal couples do.. I thought we'll still be going strong. I guess all about you, i was WRONG! I guess all about us was just a fraud.. nothing but a show, simply like a drama series which has reached its ending ! Simply has no meaning to it. Perhaps its like another sad story, which ending ended on the wrong foot. We shouldn't have even started ? Right ? perhaps we'll be better off back then. than what is happening between us now. Time, place and everything else has made a fool of us ? or should i simply say ME. -Bruised and batter by your words, Dazed and shattered now it HURTS
Labels: Shattered
12:44:00 am
Tuesday, 11 March 2008
Have you ever read my blog ? Do you know how i feel bout you ? Is this the way you are treating me after all we've been through ? All i'm asking for is just a lunch session with you. Is it that hard ? Am i not worthy than your friends ? Are you finding me a nuisance ? I don wanna pressure you, i never did ! I remember clearly you wrote to me saying that our relationship although wasn't the same as normal couples, but we are matured and steadfast enough to keep this relationship going. That it will remain strong. It never mattered to me that we don meet as often. cause i know deep down in your heart, i'm still there! Thats why i don mind. Do you remember what you wrote in chinese on my birthday card ? i never told you this, but i'm tell you now. It caused me to have tears in my eyes that day and every time i read it. I don know why that happens, somehow it just did. Yet all this happened ? December seemed okay( the party and everything), january wasn't as bad. February was when everything just collapsed. I thought after your Os, we'll get back together even stronger. But seems like i'm wrong. i don know what caused such a dramatic change in you. Shouldn't the pressure make you wanna have someone to lean on ? Instead of breaking up ? Is it that your friends are doing so, giving you all the sense of security, making you feel that i'm not needed anymore. I've asked myself if there was anything i've done wrong in anyway. Perhaps i'm just too stupid to realized. But don't i deserve a second chance ? Is it the guilt of not being able to be there for me and all the disappointment you gave me, the reasons for breaking up ? You don have to. i never complained. i'm willing, the unconditional love. if you think its unfair not being able to be there for me! you are being more unfair right now. breaking up with me.
Have you watched World Trade Center the movie ? i did. It made me realize how short life could be. that you could be there this moment and gone the next. Just with a snap of the finger. it will happen so fast that i'll have no time to react. That is when reality hit me square on the face. Making me realize how important you were to me and i wanna be by you side no matter what the problem is, and we'll face it together. I LOVE YOU really much. Seriously speaking, i never knew i loved you that much until the day you wanted the recess. You are a part of me already. You can say i'm being all emotional, but its how i really feel about you. Nothing is important to me now; than you. You can tell me to concentrate on my studies. Yes i will. BUT my mind can do that, my heart can't. Do you really have no feelings for me already ? Is somethings still not right ? Is it totally over ? Or is it another guy ?? However i believe you won't break up with me over another guy. You won't do such a thing to me. Or have you already done so ? Through and through, you are my one and only !! I'll be sitting on that fence waiting for you to come back. I'm just a fool, perhaps, wanting for your love.
-never will another gal like you come by
Labels: Shattered
12:43:00 am
Saturday, 8 March 2008
There are lots of things i wanna ask, i wanna say. but somehow its holding back. But i think this song depicts most of what i wanna say. Though it does not mean literally, but it really reflects the point put across. So if you are reading...
Hugh Grant- Don write me off.
It’s never been easy for me
To find words to go along, with a melody
But this time there’s actually something, on my mind
So please forgive these few brief awkward lines
Since I’ve met you, my whole life has changed
It’s not just my furniture, you’ve rearranged
I was living in the past, but somehow you’ve brought me back
And I haven’t felt like this since before Frankie said relax
And while I know, based on my track record
I might not seem like the safest bet
All I’m asking you, is don’t write me off, just yet
For years I’ve been telling myself, the same old story
That I’m happy to live off my so called, former glories
But you’ve given me a reason, to take another chance
Now I need you, despite the fact, that you’ve killed all my plants
And though I know, I’ve already blown more chances
Than anyone should ever get
All I’m asking you, is don’t write me off, just yet
Don’t write me off just yet
-was it meant to be or was it to be ?
Labels: Shattered
10:10:00 pm
Wednesday, 5 March 2008
i've been trying. i've been ignoring. i've tried ways and means. Somehow you are still there in my mind. I'm not sure if i'm still in yours. Those words, those sentences expressed. It seems as though i never existed. As if i was never part of your life. As though we never got together, like our relationship was just a game. A game where there isn't even a 'save' button. I really wish we could be back like we use to. I don mind if its all the way back where we used to be just best friends. Where i'm your confidant, someone for your to share your burden and pain. I rather it be that way than what i'm experiencing right now. Its really quiet, my life has been really, really quiet since you left. There's no one left for me to share my joy and my pain. There is no one; like before to share my problems. No one to comfort me like your used to. The love that has been showered. Can't we have another go at it ? I don wanna push you, i don wanna give your pressure. i know how hard it is to keep up with all the school work. All i'm asking is... give me a sign, a chance, an opportunity, show me hope. That we can still go on. I'll wait no matter how. Golden chances don just come knocking on my door. You told me not to let go of any golden opportunity. Here i am not letting it go. Not letting YOU go. YOU are that GOLDEN opportunity.
-Rainbows after the rain are bullshit, where's my rainbow ?
Labels: Shattered
10:07:00 pm
Saturday, 23 February 2008
Is is over ? or is it simply just the beginning ? what is the actual reason ? Are we still be able to get back together ? I've got lots of question, but i never dared to ask you. I think there isn't a need to put more stress on you at this moment. Suddenly your friends have headed to their dream school, i know you are lost, torn. You'll have to know there is always one who will always be by your side, supporting you, though is hasn't been much a physical support, but morally its always on your side. By you through all sorts of problems.
The pain of losing you sure hurts like hell. Are we taking a break or is it simply all over ? i wanna know. You, losing the feeling is just not possible. Maybe i'm just lying to myself, perhaps its the truth, that you have lost those feelings. It couldn't possibility be the fact that cause our relationship is hitting 2 years and you are finding it bored, or could it ? But a relationship is where two people are truly in love and are to find ways to bright up a relationship. How else would married couples stay together ? We don consider those shot-gun marriages. Other than that. You've got to realize that somebody is actually still truly, madly, deeply in love with you. You could say lots of people will say that, but deep down in your heart, is that all true ? Is love such a painful thing ? Is it simply applying to me ? Can we find our way back into OUR love ?
Labels: Shattered
10:52:00 pm
Tuesday, 19 February 2008
Being apart has never been uncommon. For that exam period, that wasn't the longest time we've been apart. But we still keep each other updated. Makes us yearn for each other more often. Making us cherish each other more. absences makes the heart fonder. Guess your fondness has already make your heart go weary. I don know why does this happen. i don think its the worst we've been through, cause we've been through the worst of storms and still stay together. Our relationship was like the brick house in the story of the 3 little pigs. I don know when it became the house made of wood and now made of straw. Which has been shattered by that mere wind. I remember we enjoyed the company of each other in december. And it was just one month, january, that made that difference. Which made a drastic change in my life (is it in yours ?).Perhaps its just my wishful thinking, but somehow i believe we'll get back together. My intuition tells me so. maybe this time its wrong. I really hope not. Will that feeling be back to you again ? or is our love just another relationship gone wrong ? take your time, i'll be waiting..
-never will there be another girl sweeter than you.
Labels: Shattered
10:17:00 pm
Sunday, 17 February 2008
Hopelessly Devoted To You
Guess mine is not the first heart broken,
my eyes are not the first to cry I'm not the first to know,
there's just no gettin' over you
Hello, I'm just a fool who's willing to sit around
and wait for you
But baby can't you see, there's nothin' else
for me to do I'm hopelessly devoted to you
But now there's nowhere to hide,
since you pushed my love aside I'm not in my head,
hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you,
hopelessly devoted to you
My head is saying "fool, forget her",
my heart is saying "don't let go"
Hold on to the end, that's what I intend to do
I'm hopelessly devoted to you
But now there's nowhere to hide,
since you pushed my love aside I'm not in my head,
hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you,
hopelessly devoted to youLabels: Shattered
6:11:00 pm
Thursday, 14 February 2008
Valentine. its a time where lovers get together, or even friends. But this valentine, everything is different. I don know how or why.
You use to miss my voice as much as i'll miss yours. The smell of your hair still lingers, the sound of your voice, that pretty face. All the meeting secretly in the school compound, spending times of our lives together. everything seems just yesterday. Developing a relationship isnt easy in the first place. Friends don just become lovers. Is it that we are starting to drift apart ? or you simply cannot face the fact that you'll have less time for me, that you think its unfair to me or seeing me as a burden to your new society. Friends and lovers aren't the same, the love they provide, the concern.
I know whenever you are upset, i'm unable to be there. But whenever you are upset or down, i know it too, cause i feel it too and i really wish to be there, next to you. So i could hold you in my arms and tell you everything is alright.
I think i know why you are enjoying but up to your neck at the same time. Perhaps right now, its the meeting of new friends, or even catching up with the old friends that makes you feel that way at the same time confused whether i'm still the one for you. Who cares about the tough road ahead, it'll only make the bond between us stronger and even harder to break. I'll be there to be your supporting pillar, even the strongest element of mother nature will not shake it
Its like when an atom becomes a molecule.
I don know if you still have feelins for me. But i can tell you that my love for you has never flickered ever since we got together. People have asked me if we were to break wat would i do. i've been saying to them that if ever we are to break up, i'll not give up the entire forest for just one tree(you) but till now i realised that its easier said than done. Most of all, i'm not ready to give up this tree(you). For everything else in the world. Not even if i'll become a millionaire. You mean alot to me.Love is far greater and stronger than any amount of money in the world. Its the fact that we don see each other often makes us cherish each other more. Unlike some couples who meet everyday and break up cause they are sick of one another.i thought we were different.
-Its really painful, everyday of our lifes, i just wanna hold on tight.Labels: Shattered
5:04:00 pm
Wednesday, 13 February 2008
Life goes on, things remained changed. Somethings are never easy to let go, others simply cant go. Will time really heal wound ? only the wounded will know. Uncertain things might or may happen, others could simply change a persons heart.
Ignorance is always a bliss, unless it is of grave danger. Things don just happen overnight, it takes days, months, even years to develop, regardless of relationship, is stands the same. Similarly it would just fade overnight.
Change of heart or of mind causes the change in everything else.
This valentine's day, may all lovers forever be together. May their relationship never quiver.Labels: Shattered
5:36:00 pm
Sunday, 10 February 2008
its been a week now. it feels terrible. that sour and painful feeling comes every once awhile, and it stays in there for at least an hour before it fades. no matter how hard i try, it still comes back.
i guess you are doing well without me, i'm not sure, hope you are really doing well. guess that the feelings you have for me had faded, the same old feeling isnt there anymore ?
Could it have been another guy ? i rather find out from you than from other people if that is true. Though i doubt you'll do such a thing to me.
i don know where to stop nor where to begin, i guess its just me. that isn't willing to change cause the true is surely hard to handle.
Come back to me-Labels: Shattered
9:08:00 pm
Friday, 8 February 2008
Second day of chinese new year. Happy lunar new year to all of you out there. TO YOU as well!
Life's been really different without you in it, the feeling isn't the same as before. Thought of you still lingers in my head, its hard, but i'm really trying hard. I hope it really doesn't have to end this way, that you'll come back to me at the end of the day. In times of good or bad, happy or sad, i'll be there for you..
In trust you must, that it will all work out.
Though i cant say the same for you about me.
The feeling might have change, the thoughts might be starting to disappear, the pain might be crawling away. But i hope someday you'll realised that we are meant to be. you'll come back to me, like we used to be.
World will never stop spinning, so why should our love ?Labels: Shattered
11:09:00 pm
Wednesday, 6 February 2008
i know its going to be long, i know its going to be tough. i'm sure nothing will make it different, nor will there be anything to make it quaver.
Thoughts of you will remain, forever it will never change. i know it'll be a long journey, i hope this is not just about you. its about us!
i know how badly you don want to hurt me, don want me to feel neglected cause of your studies and homework. But for you, i will. i know you are trying not to make the pain hurt in the long run, but you are deceiving yourself and me. Love is strong, nothing else matter. REALLY!
i don know how you are feelin now, but i'm bleedin inside. the pain is hard to explain..
i hope when you settle down, our love will still remain the same. that you'll come back to me.. golden chances just don come by, they are created by god. god gave us a chance to meet and become lovers, he'll hope we'll see each other through thick or thin. i know you've said it takes 2 hands to clap, apparently my other half isnt there to be clapping. i'll wait, wait till the day it decides to join and clap.
But is boils down to the last point. As long as you are happy, i'll be happy for you as well. by than if we cant be together, than i'll learn to let go. but for now, i simply cant, its just too sudden, its just unacceptable that you wanna break cause of school work piling up, its just where i come in and help you, guide you, share that burden, share your joy and pain.
i'll never force, there isnt a need to commit.
Someday, just someday, i hope you'll be mine again.Labels: Shattered
8:05:00 pm
