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Thursday, 28 February 2008
 

its tough.. 39 degrees. feeling hot and cold, cold at my hands and feet. What's next ?
On top of that, a cough which is worth 2 months old. It is really trying to be my buddy. At times i'm baring catching my breath.
This few days, I've been doing lots of things to get you off my mind. 
Last Friday, i went cycling, 42 km.. It was really refreshing, but than again it sucks, cause there were lots of students there. From a secondary school and another from a junior collage.
Well nothing much happen, cause i'm not interested. Than we head to my place to grab some clothes for an overnight stay at squid's place. followed by tong ann's. That was than i had a cramp. guess cause its a long time i last cycled. The cramped went away, but later that night, i had 2 aching thighs. really badly! Did i not put blanket over (to keep the warmth) i guess i'll be limping for the next 2 days. We play alittle mahjong than we head to bed. Cause tong ann hooked us up a job.
Saturday, we woke up at 7 so we could rush to the Singapore American School. For their county fail, worked the entire day there. Still have the numbness on my thumb. Had to look out for their equipment. Have i not visited the school, i'll never find out that there is actually so many ABC(american born chinese). Need-less to say, most of them are really gorgeous. As pretty as they are, they arent really my type. ok perhaps cause of their status. Surely they will need to have lavish lifestyles that i could never afford (at the moment). So they are a no go. Without a doubt, i'm still having someone else on my mind. At the end, we've enjoyed ourselves.
Sunday, the last day of the week. I managed to have tickets to the Singapore Air Show. Squid, Vann, Mitchell and i planned to meet at 10am at Pasir Ris MRT station. So i met mitchell 1st at 9.30, where to both took bus to the station. You would blieve how long the queue is unless you were there. We thought the queue is on the left side(if you are facing the MRT at the bus 3 bus stop) so we walked, to realized we walked an entire round, the end of the queue was on the right side next to the taxi stand. It was only 9.45 ! the show starts at 9.30.. though the queue was long, it moved at a steady pace, not those crawling ones. By the time we board the bus to the show it was already half hour later. On top of it. another 30 mins worth of travelling time. all the jams was bad. Oh, Vann was late (i suppose) met us again at the air show. We saw the scram jet, or whatever you'll call it. Singapore's own defenses. Than Mitchell went crazy taking photos of the giant auntie. The A380. Its HUGE, its real funny, as you can see people trying to hide under its wings to getaway from the scorching sun. They practically was standing the shape of the plane. Saw lots of other stuffs, like the Gulf Streams, there was a ferrari private jet. Than we saw those copters by eurocopters. Good brand in making copters. Than i saw the cesana 400 !! Something i'll not have a chance to fly it any time soon. Than we head to watch the performance by the Black Knights. Which was pretty awesome. They had made a shape of the heart with an arrow across it. REAL NICE, (wished you were there to see it with me). Later we headed to the Singapore Mint to grab the Airshow shirt, 15 BUCKS. how much more expensive can it get ? Saw more exhibitions. After we decide its enough, time to head back. Squid bought 'ben and jerry's' ice cream. like those 25ml ? 5 bucks. crazy!! the snapple cost like 4! We queued for practically 2 hours before its our turn to get on the bus back. On our journey to the bus pick up area, Vann and mitchell was there telling jokes that are so lame, that i think they'll need to compete in a wheelchair competiton to see who wins. Managed to kill loads of time. As usual, there are loads of people cutting and jumping queue, but i guess everyone is already so tired to wanna argue and fight. Followed by a lunch at KFC back at white sands, it was 4pm for your information. than squid and vann headed back. me and mitchell the same.

-No matter how hard i've tried, it doesn't work. YOU are still on my mind. Can we Start OVER ?





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3:16:00 pm

 
Saturday, 23 February 2008
 

Is is over ? or is it simply just the beginning ? what is the actual reason ? Are we still be able to get back together ? 
I've got lots of question, but i never dared to ask you. I think there isn't a need to put more stress on you at this moment. Suddenly your friends have headed to their dream school, i know you are lost, torn. You'll have to know there is always one who will always be by your side, supporting you, though is hasn't been much a physical support, but morally its always on your side. By you through all sorts of problems.
The pain of losing you sure hurts like hell. Are we taking a break or is it simply all over ? i wanna know. You, losing the feeling is just not possible. Maybe i'm just lying to myself, perhaps its the truth, that you have lost those feelings. It couldn't possibility be the fact that cause our relationship is hitting 2 years and you are finding it bored, or could it ? But a relationship is where two people are truly in love and are to find ways to bright up a relationship. How else would married couples stay together ? We don consider those shot-gun marriages. Other than that.  You've got to realize that somebody is actually still truly, madly, deeply in love with you. You could say lots of people will say that, but deep down in your heart, is that all true ? Is love such a painful thing ? Is it simply applying to me ? Can we find our way back into OUR love ?

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10:52:00 pm

 
Tuesday, 19 February 2008
 

Being apart has never been uncommon. For that exam period, that wasn't the longest time we've been apart. But we still keep each other updated. Makes us yearn for each other more often. Making us cherish each other more. absences makes the heart fonder. Guess your fondness has already make your heart go weary. I don know why does this happen. i don think its the worst we've been through, cause we've been through the worst of storms and still stay together. Our relationship was like the brick house in the story of the 3 little pigs. I don know when it became the house made of wood and now made of straw. Which has been shattered by that mere wind. I remember we enjoyed the company of each other in december. And it was just one month, january, that made that difference. Which made a drastic change in my life (is it in yours ?).
Perhaps its just my wishful thinking, but somehow i believe we'll get back together. My intuition tells me so. maybe this time its wrong. I really hope not. Will that feeling be back to you again ? or is our love just another relationship gone wrong ? take your time, i'll be waiting..
-never will there be another girl sweeter than you.

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10:17:00 pm

 
Monday, 18 February 2008
 

Its monday night. its always the monday blues.. tuesday will be the mark of the start of my exams..
Somethings are better left unsaid. but others must simply be said aloud. 
From me; its still the same old brand new ME. nothing will shake the roots(me) of the tree(YOU)
which has been planted deeply into the ground of love. corny as i am, its my true words. not half of it is a fraud.

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9:54:00 pm

 
Sunday, 17 February 2008
 

Exams are coming. This tuesday will be my 1st paper. which will last till the following tuesday. its really tough. i hope i can make it through. tough for me on almost everything.
My heart still aches every morning throughout the day, even worst when i'm alone. Happy times just flows back, and thoughts of why such a thing happened. That its not worth it. Through thick and thin, there's a will there's a way. 
-hope is never lost, when light shines on me.

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10:52:00 pm

 
 

Hopelessly Devoted To You


Guess mine is not the first heart broken,
my eyes are not the first to cry I'm not the first to know,
there's just no gettin' over you
Hello, I'm just a fool who's willing to sit around
and wait for you
But baby can't you see, there's nothin' else
for me to do I'm hopelessly devoted to you
But now there's nowhere to hide,
since you pushed my love aside I'm not in my head,
hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you,
hopelessly devoted to you
My head is saying "fool, forget her",
my heart is saying "don't let go"
Hold on to the end, that's what I intend to do
I'm hopelessly devoted to you
But now there's nowhere to hide,
since you pushed my love aside I'm not in my head,
hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you,
hopelessly devoted to you

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6:11:00 pm

 
Thursday, 14 February 2008
 

Valentine. its a time where lovers get together, or even friends. But this valentine, everything is different. I don know how or why.
You use to miss my voice as much as i'll miss yours. The smell of your hair still lingers, the sound of your voice, that pretty face. All the meeting secretly in the school compound, spending times of our lives together. everything seems just yesterday. Developing a relationship isnt easy in the first place. Friends don just become lovers. Is it that we are starting to drift apart ? or you simply cannot face the fact that you'll have less time for me, that you think its unfair to me or seeing me as a burden to your new society. Friends and lovers aren't the same, the love they provide, the concern.
I know whenever you are upset, i'm unable to be there. But whenever you are upset or down, i know it too, cause i feel it too and i really wish to be there, next to you. So i could hold you in my arms and tell you everything is alright.
I think i know why you are enjoying but up to your neck at the same time. Perhaps right now, its the meeting of new friends, or even catching up with the old friends that makes you feel that way at the same time confused whether i'm still the one for you. Who cares about the tough road ahead, it'll only make the bond between us stronger and even harder to break. I'll be there to be your supporting pillar, even the strongest element of mother nature will not shake it

Its like when an atom becomes a molecule.
I don know if you still have feelins for me. But i can tell you that my love for you has never flickered ever since we got together. People have asked me if we were to break wat would i do. i've been saying to them that if ever we are to break up, i'll not give up the entire forest for just one tree(you) but till now i realised that its easier said than done. Most of all, i'm not ready to give up this tree(you). For everything else in the world. Not even if i'll become a millionaire. You mean alot to me.Love is far greater and stronger than any amount of money in the world. Its the fact that we don see each other often makes us cherish each other more. Unlike some couples who meet everyday and break up cause they are sick of one another.i thought we were different.

-Its really painful, everyday of our lifes, i just wanna hold on tight.

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5:04:00 pm

 
Wednesday, 13 February 2008
 

Life goes on, things remained changed. Somethings are never easy to let go, others simply cant go. Will time really heal wound ? only the wounded will know. Uncertain things might or may happen, others could simply change a persons heart.
Ignorance is always a bliss, unless it is of grave danger. Things don just happen overnight, it takes days, months, even years to develop, regardless of relationship, is stands the same. Similarly it would just fade overnight.
Change of heart or of mind causes the change in everything else.
This valentine's day, may all lovers forever be together. May their relationship never quiver.

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5:36:00 pm

 
Monday, 11 February 2008
 

Everybody's got something they had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it could be now or might have been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you know

I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you

Somewhere in my memory
I've lost all sense of time
And so my road can never be cos yesterday is all that fills my mind
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it could be now or might have been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be

You'll always be the dream that fills my head
Yes you will, say you will, you know you will
Oh baby, you'll always be the one I know I'll never forget
There's no use looking back or wondering
Because love is a strange and funny thing
No matter how I try and try I just can't say goodbye
No no no no

I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say (words to say)
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be
A part of me will always be with you

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10:00:00 pm

 
Sunday, 10 February 2008
 

its been a week now. it feels terrible. that sour and painful feeling comes every once awhile, and it stays in there for at least an hour before it fades. no matter how hard i try, it still comes back.
i guess you are doing well without me, i'm not sure, hope you are really doing well. guess that the feelings you have for me had faded, the same old feeling isnt there anymore ?
Could it have been another guy ? i rather find out from you than from other people if that is true. Though i doubt you'll do such a thing to me.
i don know where to stop nor where to begin, i guess its just me. that isn't willing to change cause the true is surely hard to handle.
Come back to me-

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9:08:00 pm

 
Friday, 8 February 2008
 

Second day of chinese new year. Happy lunar new year to all of you out there. TO YOU as well!
Life's been really different without you in it, the feeling isn't the same as before. Thought of you still lingers in my head, its hard, but i'm really trying hard. I hope it really doesn't have to end this way, that you'll come back to me at the end of the day. In times of good or bad, happy or sad, i'll be there for you..
In trust you must, that it will all work out.
Though i cant say the same for you about me.
The feeling might have change, the thoughts might be starting to disappear, the pain might be crawling away. But i hope someday you'll realised that we are meant to be. you'll come back to me, like we used to be.

World will never stop spinning, so why should our love ?

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11:09:00 pm

 
Wednesday, 6 February 2008
 

i know its going to be long, i know its going to be tough. i'm sure nothing will make it different, nor will there be anything to make it quaver.
Thoughts of you will remain, forever it will never change. i know it'll be a long journey, i hope this is not just about you. its about us!
i know how badly you don want to hurt me, don want me to feel neglected cause of your studies and homework. But for you, i will. i know you are trying not to make the pain hurt in the long run, but you are deceiving yourself and me. Love is strong, nothing else matter. REALLY!
i don know how you are feelin now, but i'm bleedin inside. the pain is hard to explain..
i hope when you settle down, our love will still remain the same. that you'll come back to me.. golden chances just don come by, they are created by god. god gave us a chance to meet and become lovers, he'll hope we'll see each other through thick or thin. i know you've said it takes 2 hands to clap, apparently my other half isnt there to be clapping. i'll wait, wait till the day it decides to join and clap.
But is boils down to the last point. As long as you are happy, i'll be happy for you as well. by than if we cant be together, than i'll learn to let go. but for now, i simply cant, its just too sudden, its just unacceptable that you wanna break cause of school work piling up, its just where i come in and help you, guide you, share that burden, share your joy and pain.
i'll never force, there isnt a need to commit.

Someday, just someday, i hope you'll be mine again.

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8:05:00 pm

 
Sunday, 3 February 2008
 

its never been easy. the roads ahead will not be easy either. So long as we walk along hand in hand. we'll make it thru!
giving up a tree isn't always as easy as saying so. especially when this tree has already left its roots deep within. it will hurt badly even to chop it off let alone pulling the roots out. The entire jungle can wait. i'm not ready to give up this tree yet, even if that tree is goin give up on itself or worst me.

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10:18:00 pm

 
About me

Hi all ! Its me, jAve. My full name is Javier lee shun kiat, im 22 this year Im a really happy go lucky guy. People have told me, Im just pretty much good-average looking, i studied in Temasek secondary. Ive got some loving friends, here are some : Tong ann, Squid, lexter, ivan chan. Ive got many more friends, its just too many to be included but if ur really interested we could be frens. I use to play softball in school for my CCA, and Basketball as leisure with ma pals. i wouldn't mind havin lots more new friends. So feel free to add me! Check them out at my friendster, im also on Msn messenger. Heres my email, lee_javier@hotmail.com! Special thanks-ivan who helped editing.

 
Sweet thoughts

Will you still love me in the morning ? I'm lost without you.

 
WANTs & NEEDs

be with YOU!!! i'm serious
To treat you right
$$$
holiday
Shoe
Rayban Shades
Slippers (red)
Mandarin collar shirt
Bag
New Belt
BMW 6 series
Maybach Exelero
Road bike
A new wallet

 
Homosapiens

Kimmy
Birdy
Desiree
En Jing
Fazdli
Hui Xuan
Ivan
Leonard
Rachel
Shima
Shu Qi
Squid
Vann
Xue ying
Xin kai
more to come later

 
Screams


 
Archives

 

 
cheers

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