I guess you are going through loads. Loads from all sources.
I can't say i know how you are feeling. Somehow I wish i could be there to share it with you, either the pain or joy. All that burden you are holding is painful.
I know you are strong, you'll make it through. Its never easy being the tough one. One saying goes, 'no matter how tough one could be, one is after all still made of flesh and blood.' Having feelings, never bottle it up for too long. I'll always be there to lend you that shoulder.
K-keeping those fond memories