Starting Afresh!

2012-01-17T02:14:00.001+08:00

Been wondering how you've been.

Missing you gets too deep....

2011-12-01T17:34:00.001+08:00

Nothing else matters

2011-11-29T23:20:00.001+08:00

2011-11-25T01:05:00.000+08:00

What matters most, shouldn't be bothered by others..

2011-10-05T23:10:00.002+08:00

Why am i feeling all jumpy and uncertain ?

Why do i feel more then i should be feeling ?

Why do i always let myself end up in such a state ?

Why do i always think that there will always be a second chance in everything ?

Ultimatum: Get my pilot license.

Everything else doesn't really matter. or it does ?

2011-09-21T23:32:00.001+08:00

2011-09-20T22:47:00.003+08:00

This girl got involved in part of my life, she shall always stay inside of me.

I will never forget, cuz there's so much to remember. Together...

2011-09-17T23:57:00.002+08:00

I wish you are fine every single day.

If you ever wish to talk bout anything. i'm always will be here to listen.

Even if there is a need for me to lend you shoulder, i'll be there for you.

2011-09-11T23:46:00.002+08:00

-its you i'm talking bout'

2011-08-18T04:19:00.001+08:00

I've accepted the fact that we can't be, but I've also accepted that you're going to be that one person I carry with me for the rest of my life, the one that is always going to make my heart jump a little and my stomach tie up in knots no matter how happy I am otherwise.. no matter how long its been

2011-08-10T21:09:00.002+08:00

I guess to some extent you get used to being alone.
You get used to not expecting phone calls & having nothing to do at night.
You don’t expect to turn around to open arms any longer.
The small sounds of her have been replaced by silence.
Your thoughts echo through my head,
with no one to share them with.
All in all, being alone isnt terrible…
it just hurts like hell

2011-07-26T00:00:00.002+08:00

Its been awhile since i last posted. Been really busying trying to sort out my life and work. Work has never been better, having to have been qualified engineer that specialize in F15SG.

All the night shifts are making me gain unnecessary weight. All the supper my seniors get me to.

That aside, recently my mind has been filled with the possibilities of dating. But every time that thought slips in, the mind seems to able to control itself and push those thought away. Bringing those girls to nothing but cruelty put, visual beauty. I wondered why that had been so. I'm still pondering over that question.

Life is short, never make decisions in a short span of time and emotions and regret it in the future. Only to tell yourself that things weren't meant to be. It they had, it wouldn't have reached this stage. If only during that period, anger and all other sorts of emotions could have been properly sorted out and proper explanation given. Things wouldn't have fallen apart. There will always be a solution when 2 people whom truly wants to be together will sort to stay together. Instead of leaving simply because one party couldn't take it anymore. Blames are never meant to be pushed on to others. I've learnt that. It always boils down to how you control your emotions and how you are willing to show the love to the one you love most.

In the quest to find true love, you'll find something more.

2011-07-10T09:44:00.002+08:00

Everytime i wondered if there's a way to turn back time. I'll do it all again, but differently.

2011-07-07T13:10:00.001+08:00

Its been so long. I wonder if you still remember the 1st time we walked down the streets of orchard towards suntec.

2011-06-24T01:43:00.002+08:00

Grand-uncle passed on yesterday afternoon.

I didn't feel anything when i was first told of the news nor while i was working. It didn't really hit me till now, when i just got back home from work and finally had the time to pause and think. Although it is nearly 2 in the morning and after a day of hard work, your brain will usually shut down. Somehow, this moment, i feel more awake then i should be.

As it saddens me to know that my grand uncle has passed on, when nearly 6 months ago on my visit up north, he was still looking healthy. He was able to seat in the hall and chat with us, even managed to have some cookies we brought for him.

Though it might be a good thing for him, as his health started to take a turn in my visited in april. All this while he's been suffering from Alzheimer (which worsen). It really hurts to know that, there you are looking and calling out at him, while wanting nothing more then an acknowledgement of who you are.

It has also been a painful road for my grand aunt, who has been by his side all this while, yet he doesn't recognize anyone not even her. Moreover, he had gotten bedridden, couldn't even have the strength to seat upright by himself.

My grand uncle was a great man, who has managed to see generations becoming successful. He left a legacy, living through world war II, making it out alive, becoming a successful businessman. He never once spend lavishly nor has he been a showoff. He has always been prudent all his life. For that, i respect him.

His passing, taught me the value of life and the meaning of love.

Life is short, live it to the fullest and never simply take things for granted, your life might just take a sharp turn when you least expected it. He loved only one woman all his life, cherished her as though she is part of him. And she's been there for him through out his illness, never once complained that he would hit her out of the blue which was cause by the illness.

When you love someone, love whole heartedly. Half hearted will only bring you more pain and regrets. When you truly love someone, you will want that person to change for the better, you'll stay through thick and thin to see the change and make it together.

If i was to be given the chance to love again. I promise i will give it my all, my everything. Never will i be that self-centered male chauvinist, who will only take. I will give more, be more understanding, be more open and most importantly i will look in the future and plan it together.

RIP Grand Uncle, for your memories will always be left not only in our minds but our heart and soul.

2011-06-20T09:26:00.004+08:00

Shift work starts today. Lets hope i can adapt to the change. No more korean soap dramas. haha.. On the bright side, i can finally work more rather then simply admin job. But late nights means, more chui complex then it already is. Sian... But somehow my colleagues are all okay leh. so maybe its the working that makes it better. I don know, lets find out eh..

I hope that you are feeling better already. If it ever hurts that badly again, pls go see a doctor.

Remembering you breaking into cold sweat that night really broke my heart.

2011-06-15T22:19:00.002+08:00

I'm reached a point to have realised what i actually want out of national service(NS). Monetary might be one of the biggest issue to date. The regret of declaring my shoulder problem that prevented me from my dreams was another. But what i really want to take away from this NS is not only experience but most importantly the recognition i get while serving. I want to let the people know that although in this short period of time frame, i still can grasp as much as a regular could. Hopefully i will have a chance to be one of the lucky few NSF that will have a chance to go on detachment no matter how short it might be. Recognition not only from my flight but even the management higher up the chain.

I might have regretted declaring my issues, i might have been all sore of not becoming the officer i might have become. But i got to be content with what i have, something alot of nsf are willing to die for. With the building recognition from my management, i will put in my most.

The one thing that i still regret is -

2011-06-09T12:48:00.002+08:00

You can probably imagine how bored i can be to be blogging of absolutely nothing in the middle of the afternoon on a thursday.

Was made to clear some of my leave. Its not all that bad, i can simply rest at home and do nothing. But its simply cause of the nothing that keeps my mind thinking of stuffs that usually working doesn't.

Don get me wrong, being at home/off from work is a good thing. It is something people might be dying to do. But i rather be pre-occupied.

"The more you do the less you'll think"

Brings no solace -

Snow Patrol - You Could Be Happy (Animation)

2011-05-30T22:53:00.000+08:00

2011-05-30T12:01:00.003+08:00

4 days of RSAF open house has come and gone. Was it worth it ? Probably. As it might be a once in a life time event to be part of, for me at least. Well, the most take away experience i have is the fact that some officers are most down to earth. They do not order you around instead work harder then you to get things done. Never once asked me to do and simply rest. For that i respect them. They truly took me as friend that they work along side.

Apart from that, i was surprise i was hit on; the first day of the open house, being an ambassador, guiding 2 class of students around. Why would i think of it that way. There was a survey form that the students were suppose to complete when nearing the end of the tour. There was these girl who completed her form and handed to me, and insisted that i read the survey. Which had a portion about the ambassador, she added a line 'he's awesome'. Yes.. There really isn't a need to do it. Oh, she asked if i knew her name (of course i don, 65 students, how to remember?). She then insisted that i had to remember her name.. She was a nice girl, even asked if i will be around on sun, cause she will bring her family along. Thankfully, i was to do some other stuffs that day. So i told her i wouldn't be around. She seemed alittle sad, but oh wells. Some other guy would be better for her eh.

My heart has been taken.

2011-05-09T10:10:00.000+08:00

2011-05-06T20:43:00.003+08:00

Showing people what i have to show.

I keep to myself, and take it through every night, living one day at the time. Not knowing what tomorrow might bring.

If pain is something i have to go through because of my ignorance and simply 'heck care-ness' and my stubbornness, i'll take it, i'll live with it.

I have realised that the self-centered, egoistic me has brought simply nothing but pain and sadness. Everything i saw was shallow. Never considered and thought of the one who has always been there for me. Forever taking things for granted.

If i could turn back time, i would cherish every single moment, and i will shower her with all the love she should get.

Why did things have to turn out this way ?

2011-05-02T19:56:00.003+08:00

I never really expect missing a person you dearly love can be so fucking painful, it cuts into your heart so deep, that you are left with nothing.

When you live with regrets that you should have simply cherished her in the first place. That it need not have come to this stage to know how much she stands in your heart. How much she really means everything to you. It seems like she is the moon to your night which has been cold ever since she left.

2011-04-30T23:10:00.002+08:00

2011-04-25T22:00:00.001+08:00

2011-04-24T17:27:00.001+08:00

And if all falls apart, i will know deep in my heart, the only dream that mattered had come true. In this life, i was loved by you.

2011-04-03T23:37:00.000+08:00

My life has suddenly come to a stopped.
lost about how things are suddenly happening around me. Wondered why does this always happen to me.
What have I not done right ? I guess, I didn't managed to do the basics of a boyfriend's job. I didn't take enough notice of the surroundings tat has been happening, telling me the signs of change. NO, perhaps I simply chose to ignore it.
When you told me, you didn't want to slp over cause of wakin up with a flu, and wat nots off your back, I started to query myself, this aren't things you'll care. then you started textin me less, replyin more coldly. I thought you were goin through a phase, like not bein able to get a job, not enough money and all. I mean, previously we behaved fine.
This week has been hell for me, I only saw you 6 hours. You barely had the time to sms, I was lost. Didn't know wat to do. Its like, where did you go, I tried means to meet up with you. Everytime you rejected me, at first I thought, okay, perhaps your new job, kept you busy, then all the excitment of gettin your boat. When your boat arrived, I was really excited as well. I really wanted to see it as well, wanted to be there with you when you open the packaging. But to no avail, when you've already decided.
I love you. I just don show it, I made tat mistake. I'm sorry, pls don let go.

2011-04-03T17:28:00.001+08:00

One entire week, 6 days of work, 2 days of canoe. 2 nights, 6 hours.

I can not take it any more. Where am i to you ?

Work comes 1st, then canoeing, then canoe friends. I'm not even on the list ?

FML

2011-03-02T16:43:00.000+08:00

Its been awhile since I lasted posted.
its always times when you want things to be done, it doesn't. All this, I guess is my own fault. My own fault for declaring such a situation that I have. I'm talkin about the chances of me bringing my pes status higher.
I really wonder sometimes, what does god has installed for me. Givin me such a 'problem' per say.. Whether I'm meant to do greater things or simply not cut out for the job.
That aside, the weekends are comin ! Its time for an outing ! Can't wait.

2011-01-29T22:47:00.000+08:00

The legend of marimo’s power began with forbidden love. Some people believe the lovers’ spirits entered the marimo. This is where the love connection comes in and has made the marimo an enduring symbol of love and how it triumphs even in the most adverse conditions. If a person is patient and nurturing, the marimo will grow big and strong.

Reason why i keep one.

2011-01-29T13:03:00.004+08:00

You don know you actually miss/need someone so badly until they are gone. Taking advantage of their presents, taking at face value. Not knowing that they are slowly drifting and letting go.

All the time gone, i realised how much one heart can ache. Its weird, isnt it ?

I do cherish you !

2011-01-26T18:32:00.002+08:00

Its 26th of january.

Same thing i do every other day. NOTHING!

Okay, i did some QC on the pantry today to see if there's any food that is due to expire.

Apart from that, i can't tell you anything. But if you really wanna know, you can ask me and i'll have to kill you ! lol..

Not sure if i've posted before, but i'm posted to the air force working in a secret location! lol....

No la, i'm just posted to PAYA lebar air base.

The recent weather has been really crazy, 2 days ago it rained only on one side of the base and the other side was dry. But the oddest thing to have happen is, it always have to rain when i'm preparing to leave for home.

Today was worst, by the time i reach home it was totally dry, but at the base it was pouring cats and cows ! Came home totally soaked.

Sad life..

P.S. Still reading ? Happy birthday !

2011-01-19T19:48:00.002+08:00

2011 !

19 days in..

Life's been monotonous. Nothing much is done.

Apart from being in the air force, i've been looking at options to further my studies. Even looking at signing on with the Air Force.

Its really confusing, whether i should sign.

On the bright side, chinese new year is coming.

1 year 5 months more to go.

2011-01-04T20:22:00.001+08:00

If i had magic !

2011-01-04T19:39:00.001+08:00

2011-01-01T00:37:00.002+08:00

1st blog of the new year.

A new year, a new start.

The same old person with new thoughts and mindset.

Lets look back, 6 months into army and it seem like yesterday.

Time really flies when you look back and think of the things you've done. Its really amazing how things have gone by and you don seem to notice them sometimes.

The one of the great thing that happened to me was ending up in the air force, and one of the worst is also the air force, for it gets me round ! hahaa..

Well, that aside, i'm looking at what 2011 has installed for me. Hopefully i can up my pes status and try for the pilot or at the very least converting to an officer. That way, i'll probably sign on and unload a financial burden to my parents. At the same time look for a uni course that i would like to apply and study.

Ultimate goal ? To end up being a PILOT, regardless, commercial or military.

Life has been quite interesting for me. i really wonder what has god installed for me for 2011.

Pondering will not make anything come true.

I will always remember this sentence.

If you don achieve your dreams the first time, and you give up. Your dream is worthless and pointless.

okay, somewhere along this line..

Happy new year to everyone of you out there who is reading this.

P.S. Happy new year to you !

2010-12-23T22:28:00.002+08:00

Eve of the EVE of christmas !

Half day at camp tml ! awesome !

What would i like for christmas ?

everything i didn't have or didn't manage to have.

OH and if i could get a car it would be the ONE-77. Search the net and you'll see what it is ! okay, it might be beyond reach for now. But it might be real in the future. One will never know.

Only when you dream big and work towards it can dreams become reality. If you don, they stay as dreams only.

P.S. take my hand, take a breath...

2010-12-17T22:32:00.003+08:00

Christmas is almost here !

Yet again, i fail to get a colder christmas day. Stuck in sunny/rainy singapore !

Been sick for the past 2 days, Fever which went on to 38.3 degrees, blocked nose for nearly a week, and now a slight cough. mmmm, some christmas huh ?

Well, at least i've to be thankful that i'm not in army having to just run and bash through forest, mindlessly. Air force has been good to me. At least i get to see the aircraft fly every day.

On the up side, i'm pushing to get my PES status up. Hopefully with that cleared, i would be able to have a go at my dream, my ambition, or even close enough.

P.S. Suddenly, it seems like such perfect place.

2010-12-05T17:42:00.000+08:00

A few more weeks and it'll be christmas. And it will also mark 6 months into army. Fast right ? Time flies when you are doin stuffs. When army keeps you busy. Thankfully I'm now in the air force. Everyone who is in the air force tells me its good to be here. Its rare. So far, things been interestin.
Can't wait for christmas to come. In my family we don receive gifts of any sort. But we do have some sort of gatherin.. Dinner and all.
Hopefully this year, I'll get to up my pes status and attain my dreams. That aside, I would wanna change the wheel of my bicycle, for easier and more relaxin cycle. Perhaps another watch, I saw one at g-shock tat I like. More cash, oh wait, who doesn't ? Haha.. Alrighty, till then.

2010-11-24T22:35:00.002+08:00

I'm very tired!

I mean, i know you go that extra mile. Even that extra 3-4 miles more.

But just cause you forget to do yourself, you expect everybody to be able to help. Availability of the person and the convenience of that person are factors to consider.

Yes, it might seem obliging cause you did/will do for the person.

I'm not saying i wouldn't do. But how do you expect things to be done when you don provide enough information on how ? or at the very least picking up the phone ?

Like the latest incident, you wanna head to this particular place, but i didn't want to as its hard to get to (wait for bus, change mrt, money spent). You got so pissed, vulgarities spewed.. Not getting things you way.

I've been changing for you, i don know if you notice, or even think its enough. I'm trying my best..

November rain.

2010-10-31T23:22:00.002+08:00

Weather has been crazy all around. I'm getting problems from my nose ! Block nose in the morning followed by a leaking one. Breathing problem..

Burning forest does no good to anyone. Why burn ? sigh.. The world needs us to conserve it, if we don do it, who else would ? If we don, who else suffers ?

Please take care of your health. Please take care !

2010-10-24T15:14:00.003+08:00

Posted to Air base after 7 weeks of training at AFTC. Thankfully, i'm posted to PLAB. Could have been better if i was posted to Changi though.. oh well, you can't ask for more the minimum has already been given to you. RIght ?

I've been trying to Up my PES status, so that i can try a shot at being a pilot. Its no confirmation that i'll get in or anything, but at least i'll know i've tried..

2010-10-05T12:13:00.003+08:00

Wooo! Finally 1 week break from army life !

Should i say well deserved ? I guess it is. After all the non stop training and lectures, this break came at the right time.

Air force Engineer, wonder where i'll be posted to...

Weather has been kind, no rain, super windy. It would be nice if it was more cloudy !

Loads of things i would like to do, but all of it requires $$$. Spend and spend and spend. hahaha..

Perhaps its time to head to vivo, its been a long time since i went to vivo to take a walk. Perhaps a movie and some carls junior, and by the end of the day before we head back home, some stuff from candy empire ! =D

Well, is there any movie thats nice out in the cinema ? Haven't seen any. The next movie i would like to watch is Harry Potter.

Oh yea, guys who do not know what to do with their combat boots. Here's a suggestion !

2010-09-18T11:42:00.000+08:00

2010-09-01T21:18:00.002+08:00

We play, I get angry, You get angry. We play, you get angry, I don.. Why is tat so ?? If pinchin and slapin is part of playin. When I do tat pls don get angry. Cause it hurts ! Pls put yourself in my shoe imgine yourself being pinched by me !

2010-08-21T15:10:00.002+08:00

5 more working days in BMTC 4 and i'll be posted out to a unit. I wonder which unit would that be. Completed the 12 km route march. somehow i wish i could have done the 24km and POP at marina bay.

Can't believe that 9 weeks has passed in a blink of an eye. then again, life is different once i i get to a unit. Things might be the same for the next 1 over year or it might be more interesting. It really depends on the unit i get posted to; which i'll only know at the end of BMT training.

Interesting things you can find at tekong, including people. People all around really come from different woks of life. It's something you have to deal with whether you like it or not. Some people just have the heck care attitude, some super garang. BMT brought a group of strangers closer together and to forge this group of boys to become men and soldiers. Learn that teamwork is important. Without teamwork, there will be no success.

5 more days to Passing Out

2010-08-09T23:26:00.002+08:00

3 weeks left before i get posted to a unit. 3 more weeks in bmt. 3 more weeks before i get my POC. 3 more weeks till the next phase of my army life.

Field camp is over, i'm glad it is over. For most of us in my pes status will never ever need to put on camo again. Hopefully i'll be the few that might have a chance to. a chance to up our pes. Even if i don, i guess i'll have to settle with what ever i'm given and be glad. There must be a reason why god wants me to be in this pes. A reason for him to give me such a interesting problem on my shoulder.

Dream of being a fighter pilot ? guess that over. Well life is never smooth sailing. i'll have to look forward to the next dream i have in life. the next phase isn't that long away. in just 2 years i'll have to start studying again. Start living my dreams.

I'll have to start looking for courses to study, the possible places, the possible budget to get me there. perhaps i might start working for a while? or perhaps study while working ?

I'll never know till i get there.

2010-07-24T11:16:00.002+08:00

Its been a really really long time since i blogged..

Well, i'm in the army already, for those who don know. Nothing much i can mention on a blog for army. other then nice army "songs"

well, here's one of them.

"i ask my love, to take a walk

to take a walk, down orchard road,

by pass mandarin, and centerpoint,

we had our lunch at macdonalds,

we had fillet, and an apple pie,

we share a cup, of lemon lime."

...

well, plans for today, carls junior !!

walk a little, spend much time awake. then slp and the nxt day arrives, and its time to enter into camp once again.

2010-06-24T19:39:00.002+08:00

3 more days till the big day ! NS.. Its finally here, it feels just like yesterday when my bunch of friends and I were saying "NS? still far away la!" Well guys, its finally here for me, and nxt will be squid eh ?

Lets see, i've yet to pack anything, all i know i have loads of undergarments, a pair of slippers, an alarm clock, IC

So here's a checklist of stuffs i'll need to get so i can bring:

1) Nail clipper

2) Shampoo

3) Laundry soap

4) Swimming Goggles

Things i may get:

1) Clothes hanger

2) Personal first aid kit - for minor headaches and stuffs.

Time has past so fast, my blog is already this old. Though i don remember how and when i started this blog. But it has always been apart of my life. People who have been reading. Thank you for being there for me.

Those who have just started, thank you for joining me on a journey call 'life of Javier' haha.. how cliche that is..

2010-06-07T01:12:00.002+08:00

Have you ever wondered if you could ever have been the better person to be there for the other ?

Have you ever thought of the different ways you could help the other ?

Life has never been fair to everybody, but why does everybody treats life unfairly as well ? perhaps that one day, just one fine day, your life could turn out to be the better one.

- lost in jumbled strings of thoughts.

2010-05-27T00:17:00.002+08:00

Can't believe that the month of may is coming to an end. It'll be june soon. And i'll get older soon. That would also mean that i'll be one step closer to the army's.

I'm half heartedly lookin forward to it, knowing that as soon as i get in, i'll be able to get out by the end of the period. i'll be able to start working or studying again, continuing normal life. Though there will definitely be difficulty starting school again as i'll be out of touch with it for coming to 3 years.

Its a skill, long left untouched. it will turn rusty. Like the joint of a door knob.

-things to do.

1) paint my room

2) organise my bday party

3) work to earn money

4) get ppl to help with 1 and 2.

2010-05-11T21:59:00.002+08:00

Some how i realised its been long since i last blogged. Been really busy with life. Finally i've got time to STOP and BREATHE.
Today's post will probably be longer then usual.

Recently when to phuket right over my work was over. Its has been a fun trip as you can see it in the pictures on my facebook. Went to phuket to soak up the sun. Had good thai food, loads of ang moh, and $1.60SGD of magnum ice cream ! where do you get that in singapore ?

Well, i finally gotten my PES status, hopefully army calls me up fast. so i can get into it faster and get out of it soonest.

Finally army.. that felt just like yesterday we were talking to our seniors over army. Chey! you entering army ah ? i'm still far la ! *blinks eye* ITS HERE !

Oh wells, i'll try to update my blog more frequently..

2010-04-25T22:46:00.000+08:00

When the simplest thing doesn't seem simple anymore, what would you do ?

When the harder thing seems even harder, what would you do ?

Lost in thoughts once again..

2010-04-07T22:19:00.002+08:00

17 more working days to go. Can't wait for it to be over ! life gets tougher each other.

Guess i'll have to live by this logo, when going gets tougher, the tougher gets going..

Right now, i'm surviving on my left side of the neck. the right side is all stiffed up. age is really catching up with me. Yes i know i'm only turning 21, but it feels like i'm already in my prime... They say men's prime is in their 40s. so i guess we men behave differently from women. We have all sort of problems now at age 20 on.. when we get to late 30s.. We start to have less eh ? haha.. stupid analogy.

hang in there javier..

(:(:(:(:

2010-04-02T21:33:00.001+08:00

I'm lost

2010-03-27T11:42:00.002+08:00

Finally another saturday.

I've never looked forward to a weekend this much. Guess work is really tiring me out.

Site sup, keep telling us that the cable will be laid next week since the morning yesterday. Never stopped till i left the site.

Oh, for those who don know, i'm working at a construction site. job title ? Bangla. its no joke. the construction site, must climb up and down, left and right. The most important thing, its freaking sauna inside !

Endure javier, 23 more working days.

2010-03-23T23:21:00.000+08:00

2010-03-21T23:12:00.000+08:00

I wish you would just show up on my doorstep. Not with anything special, just you. And when I’d open the door you’d smile and while I’m trying to figure out what the hell you’re doing here you’d tell me how hard the past months have been, how much you’ve thought about me, how much you regretted everything. And then you’d take me into your arms and ask me to forgive you and I would without hesitation. Then I’d grab your face and kiss you the way we used to and everything would be perfect again.

if only this could happen.

2010-03-18T23:41:00.002+08:00

I saw you just now. My heart skipped a beat, to realise, shit ! its not over.

2010-03-15T23:24:00.000+08:00

I guess we just have to accept the fact that some people will always stay in our hearts, even after we've left theirs.

2010-03-14T23:48:00.000+08:00

2010-03-12T22:00:00.000+08:00

2010-03-12T00:06:00.000+08:00

I just saw you on the bus on your way home, or was i just dreaming ??

2010-03-10T23:48:00.000+08:00

“And when I tell you I love you, I don’t say it out of habit, or to start a conversation. I say it to remind you that you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

2010-03-09T23:17:00.000+08:00

Its funny how we always find ourselves wanting to run back to the ones we used to love, for some reason, thinking it would work out differently

2010-03-08T22:56:00.001+08:00

http://runawaytrain.tumblr.com/post/399693336/i-tried-to-move-on-i-really-did-i-tried-to-tell

2010-03-07T23:24:00.002+08:00

Till NOw

2010-03-05T22:21:00.002+08:00

“There’s a reason why two people come together and stay together; they both give each other something no one else can.”

Why did they get separated when they still can give each other things others couldn't ?

2010-03-04T23:01:00.004+08:00

I remembered seeing this somewhere.

Good luck to all A lvl receivers.

2010-03-02T23:17:00.000+08:00

2010-03-02T21:49:00.003+08:00

2010-03-01T19:50:00.001+08:00

Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart. -Kay Knudsen

2010-02-22T20:31:00.004+08:00

Ok. Holidays have just started. I wonder what i should do. Suddenly life seems to have strayed.

No doubt that my attachment company has just did documentation for a possible continuation of my work. But i've got to search for a job myself too. In case they decide not to have me, or i can find a higher paying job.. hmmmm I wonder..

Need to start looking for that spark in my life. Start looking for the options i have when i finish army. oh yea, there's army. IT's coming...
I cannot imagine to have been studying for nearly 2 decades and now i can stop. But i don wanna stop. You know how contradicting that seems ? After so long i finally realised that studying is the best thing every. Compared to working. Studying is very fun, no pressure for you to complete your task. Its not as though you don complete you'll cause the company to lose money.

When time seems aplenty. We seem to be lack of it.

2010-02-19T20:40:00.000+08:00

Serendipity

Because of you..

I believe.

2010-02-18T22:25:00.003+08:00

Second last day at work. I was finally asked to help shred paper. I did it from 1.30 till 5.40pm. How cool is that ? I mean, its the very first time i'm at work and i do not need to crack my brain and think too much.

Well, tomorrow's the last day. My sup said that the HR who was suppose to talk to me bout my extension is on leave. So my job for the nxt 2 month is not confirm as of today. Going to be jobless soon. haha... Well, on the bright side i can finally rest. But then i need the money !! how contradict can i get ?

OH OH! i would like to get either of this pair of shoe ! if only i can afford any of it. sigh...

2010-02-16T21:14:00.001+08:00

"I believe one of the toughest situations you can be ever faced with is deciding whether you should just move on or hold on a little tighter. Move on, and maybe you'll lose a chance at the best thing that could have ever happened, or hold on and have the possibility of your heart being broken"

2010-02-10T23:10:00.003+08:00

My life at work can be seen as the US Marine. With the Slogan, "The only easier day was yesterday".

Work seems to be doubling every other day. Well, one thing i've got to admit, its really interesting, the things i learn. However, it really tired me out. The worst part ? I'm a night person so i don sleep so early. By the time morning comes i'll be really tired all over again. Gradually i learn that working life isnt as simple as it may seem.

I'll adapt.. Some day...

2010-02-08T23:22:00.002+08:00

Can't believe how fast time is actually flying. I'm down to the last 8 working days of my attachment. Well should i continue working ? or should i take a well deserved rest ? Sometimes i contradict myself, on one hand i wanna work so i can have money to spend and travel. On the other hand, i'm tired and i wanna rest. So i'm not too sure of what to do as yet. Well, as the chinese saying goes, when the boat reaches the pier, everything will straighten out. I hope thats for my case. Well, it depends on how much they are willin to pay me too. I mean, it has to be at least the market rate at the minimum. Right ?

Well, update on my boring life. Today was the 1st time i got onto bus 39 and it was empty. Empty in the sense there was loads and i mean loads of empty seats available. That don usually happen after office hour. it was 6.30 pm.

2010-02-03T21:03:00.000+08:00

I don’t want to live without you in my life. As a friend, or girlfriend or best friend. I just want you there, I don’t think I can be the same that I am now without knowing you. I guess thats inevitably obvious. You make me laugh so easily, and I feel totally at ease with you. Even from the start, I did not hide or pretend to be anyone I’m not. For some reason I was totally honest with you.

2010-02-02T22:18:00.002+08:00

here’s something in a simple hug
That always warms the heart;
It welcomes us back home
And makes it easier to part.

A hug’s a way to share the joy
And sad times we go through,
Or just a way for friends to say
They like you ’cause you’re you.

Hugs are meant for anyone
For whom we really care,
From your grandma to your neighbour,
Or a cuddly teddy bear.

A hug is an amazing thing –
It’s just the perfect way
To show the love we’re feeling
But can’t find the words to say.

It’s funny how a little hug
Makes everyone feel good;
In every place and language,
It’s always understood.

And hugs don’t need new equipment,
Special batteries or parts -
Just open up your arms
And open up your hearts.

I miss it all. That special hug that makes the world goes slow and everything feels alright

2010-01-26T20:37:00.003+08:00

What a day !

Flu started yesterday evening, I even took some medication before i head to bed. But i woke up this morning the nose was still running. Had to take another pill so that it wouldn't affect my work.

Somehow, this flu tablet doesn't seem to have any effects. I'm still having a running nose and my whole body feels like jelly. The UP-SIDE ? i'm not having a fever ( i think).

Couldn't run today, cause i was feeling really really shitty. Keep having to wipe my nose is irritating. I wonder why my body works like that.. It was literally dripping water..

On the bright side, i'm roughly 19 days away from my BIG holidays. Can't wait for it to come. Though nothing's been planned yet..

2010-01-20T22:02:00.004+08:00

Hey all, just realised its been long since i last updated.

Been really busy with life alone.

Work is hectic. Loads to do, never finish. On the bright side, time pass faster. So fast that i'm only left with 20 working days. From the initial 12 weeks of attachment.

Working in this company really gave me loads of experience. Teach you to look at things differently. When a door switch isn't just a door switch. You'll have to worry and think about other things as well. Endless food for thought. Oh yea, working attire seems fine other then the shoe. Thankfully i'm used to them, at last. Though i wish for some better working clothes, there isn't a point for me to buy more. Work's ending really soon and army is coming really fast.

Wow ! can you imagine ?! how fast time flies ? I'm already finish school.

Oh, BTW, I've decided to sell my camera. Its good time i upgrade.

Selling off my Nikon D40x kit at S$700(this is the market rate i saw recently). Comes with

1)D40x body

2) 1 lens, 15-55

3)UV protection Lens

4)2 batteries(comes with one, i'm throwin in the other)

5)Charger

2010-01-04T22:24:00.003+08:00

4 days into the new year.

Resolutions ?

1) Finish army in one piece.

2) To accomplish my wishes.

3) World peace !!

Back to work after 4 days of rest. I was super tired by 4pm. Even my supervisor asked if i was alright. I was zombied!! No idea why too. Eyes were sore and tired, with the strong urge to sleep.

Can't believe there isn't going to be any holidays this month. Long month ahead ! Soon enough i'll complete my attachment though. Can't wait... Long after, it'll be a short holiday cum birthday celebration before i enter the army. *crossing fingers*

"Thanks you for loving me....

Whats not to love ?!"

2009-12-31T00:38:00.002+08:00

Its 31st of december. Last day of the year.

Quite an eventful year this has been. Spike in everything, including my heart !

Finally finished with my studies, i'm now left with over a month of attachment and i'll be free. Free for as long as the 11b stays away. Free from years and years of study. Finally i can say i can rest.

To all my friends, old and new. its been a pleasure knowing you guys. Hope we'll still keep in touch. We can have loads of meet up or event.

To my buddies who has been there for me. Thanks for everything. 2009 is coming to its end. Its start 2010 on a new page. A page where most of us will be botak ! lets remember to meet up even if we don end up in the same camp.

Yes, this seems like a speech. I don have any idea why i ended writing such stuffs. I guess it's all bout the age, one gets older, he tends to be more long winded. But non-the-less i really appreciate everybody and everything that happened. All has made me grow up in different aspects. One most important point is that i tend to sleep more ! I'll always feel tired.

Well this is it. I've got sleep now. tml still have to work. I'll tidy this up when i get home tml. Sweet dreams sweetie.

2009-12-27T21:51:00.002+08:00

Christmas. OVER !

4 days of break. Done.

Work stacked neatly for me to start work on monday.

2009 coming to an end. 2010's coming..

Roughly 2 more months till FYP is over.

Seating by the ocean, thinking...

2009-12-21T23:03:00.003+08:00

My body is having a major break down.

First was the cyst grown on my head. It caused a small bald patch on my head. had to cut it out, now it leaves a line of scar. And the cyst ? It was some normal cyst that got inflamed. But can be remained in the body. What cause the bald patch ? The only answer the doctor provided was that 'the cyst was probably seating on my hair nerves hence the hair aren't able to grow.

Second was my face, sudden acne outburst. Still treat... sigh.....

Third was the stupid shin splint, that has been giving me running problems. The doctor said i run too much, i wanted him to look at squid..

Now, its my throat, it has a lump grown. A lump which the doc said on the surface, my deduction that it could either be a lymph node or a cyst, or simply a inflammation of the throat. If its a lymph node, i'll have to get it cut out. If its a cyst, and its not cancerous, i can choose to let it remain or cut it out. In which case i'll keep it as it doesn't cause any disturbance. Rather another adam's apple then a scar. hahaha.. Frankly i rather it be a inflamed throat, this way all i need is medication. Loads of rest, and lesser talking.

2009-12-20T21:42:00.003+08:00

Had a christmas celebration with my company division on friday. Played bowling before dinner. We left office earlier to reach the bowling center at safra mount faber. Bowled 2 games before dinner at potter's cafe. Bowling was bad, my 1st run was 109, the 2nd was worse, with only 69. Don people usually get better ? weird.. Food wasn't all that bad. Very simple though, nothing lavish nor unique...

After the celebration, i met up with tong, ong and adam to chill out. Wanted to head out to some drinking location though. But ended up playing NBA and winning eleven at tong's house. When tong finally send me home, it was already 2 in the morning.

Today, Finally gotten my sunglasses fixed. Oakley is cutting on their material. The new lens are smaller compared to the old ones i have. Guess i'll just have to get use to it.

2009-12-14T23:39:00.002+08:00

Walking alone in the setting sun, i thought my life might have just begun.

As I wondered, how my life could be.

I got myself stuck pondering of thee and got lost in all those memories.

Soon i realised, you have yet to begone, from my little memory.

That feeling you have for me, is still out there somewhere. Couldn't it be ?

P.S. I Love You

2009-12-07T23:46:00.003+08:00

12952.) I don't know why I can't get over you. It's been so long already. Sometimes I wonder if you still like me

12895.) I know that you'll see, someday, I can't live without you.

12869.) She hurts me so much but I still love her more than anyone in the world.

2009-12-06T21:24:00.003+08:00

Stand chart done. With just over an hour ! sian !!

I'm not giving excuses, but my shin has given me problem yet again. For those who know i've got such a problem will understand !

Well, i've been training thats! So its definitely not a problem to complete under an hour ! Never mind that, i'll be going for a doc visit on tues to see what's the problem and what they can help bout it.. Hopefully that will solve my problem..

I think bout you, hoping to see you again. why ? i don know..

2009-12-02T22:49:00.002+08:00

3 days of attachment and i'm feel mentally drained. Its suppose to last for 3 months. Guess my body clock will readjust.

4 more days till stand chart run. I feel fatter then usual ! havent run this week.. sigh... I can't wait for the run to come !!

Just to see you..

2009-11-30T23:27:00.002+08:00

Thanks to shu fen, my blog is back to normal.

30th of november 2009. A level papers finished.

First day at work. Work wasnt that bad for a start. Then again its the 1st day, many more things can happen down the road the next few weeks.

IMY

2009-11-17T22:30:00.002+08:00

3 months of FYP has reached its last 1 week and 3 days.

To be exact, excluding tomorrow we are left with 3 and the half study days till presentation. 3 and the half more study days still school is over and attachment to start. I can't imagine myself in working wear monday to friday. for the next 3 months..

Time waits for no one, but i will

2009-11-11T00:35:00.002+08:00

and even at the bottom of the sea
I can still hear you inside my head
telling me, touch me, feel me
and all the time you were telling me lies
so tonight

[chorus]
I'm gonna find a way to make it without you tonight
I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
I'm gonna hold onto the times that we had tonight
I'm gonna find a way to make it without you

Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart?
well you can try sleeping in my bed
lonely, own me
nobody ever shut it down like you
you wore the crown
you made my body feel heavenbound

Why don't you hold me, need me
I thought you told me
you'd never leave me

Lookin' in the sky I can see your face
and I know right where I fit in
take me, make me
you know that I'll always be in love with you
right 'til the end

2009-11-10T23:29:00.009+08:00

5th of nov.

The last time i mentioned it was a good day because of this very special tissue that had drawings drawn by this unique, special one. Although it happened a long time ago. Somehow the date was dated 5/11/09. I took a long looking at it and i'm still confused by the date.

So the day started off with me waking up to seeing a huge cloud of grey outside my window (usually waking up to dark clouds, my day don usual go well). In my heart thinking to myself, this is not going to be a good day. I started to rush through my bathing and packing of the day's items. By the time i was done with breakfast. It was pouring heavily, and i was due at the bus stop in 10 mins time for the bus will determine if i arrive in school on time or late. It rained for another 6-7 mins, the rain got smaller, but i wasn't able to catch the bus needed for me to get to school on time. So my mom and i decided that i should drive to school instead. After all i could give my mom a ride, since she works near enough.

While i turned out of the carpark onto the main road, the rain stopped. The best thing was the rainbow that spread across the entire sky. quite literally like the msn's emoticon's rainbow.

Here's a picture of it. The other, i've increased the gamma and everything else to make the rainbow obvious. I didn't edited the rainbow in.

I was at the traffic light outside Mjc, so this was all i see at that point of time. By the time i turned out to the main road, Half the rainbow disappear as the clouds stared to disperse.

Somehow this 2 item seem to have an interlink (in my opinion). I don know how to response to such a situation. What would/could i have done ?

2009-11-05T21:10:00.002+08:00

Somehow i knew today would be a good day when i woke up.
I'll fill you guys up soon.

2009-10-27T23:40:00.002+08:00

Conquered 10km today AGAIN. (proud of you guys !!) squid.. aiya... there's van, leo and sam..

Okay, squid says its 9.6km (right ?)

Tired was ever. Legs are already sleeping. In a few mins, it'll be the rest of me.

Proud of myself, never had mac for lunch ( fren were like, EH lets have mac). Dinner was at gelare. Didn't have ice cream either !! woah !!!

Oh yea. this i have to share (i'm sure sam, leo and van will agree) as squid was showing off his body, said he was okay being fat as we were on the topic of FAT. a quote from him " I'm training so hard is because of half iron man. The weight loss was a 'SIDE EFFECT !' "yes yes, some sort of effect i would want too.

2009-10-27T22:00:00.000+08:00

Deep in my heart, I'm suffering,
knowing that I've lost you.
On the outside, I'm living,
pretending that I've forgotten you

2009-10-26T22:43:00.002+08:00

It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone - Anonymous

2009-10-24T11:39:00.001+08:00

Heard this song on radio. Thought that you might wanna know.

Time for a miracles

It’s late at night and I can’t sleep
Missing you just runs too deep
Oh I can’t breathe thinking of your smile.

Every kiss I can’t forget
This aching heart ain’t broken yet
Oh God I wish I could make you see
Cuz I know this flame isn’t dying
So nothing can stop me from trying

Baby you know that
Maybe it’s time for miracles
Cuz I ain’t giving up on love
You know that
Maybe it’s time for miracles
Cuz I ain’t giving up on love
No I ain’t giving up on us

I just want to be with you
Cuz living is so hard to do
When all I know is trapped inside your eyes

The future I cannot forget
This aching heart ain’t broken yet
Oh God I wish I could make you see
Cuz I know this flame isn’t dying
So nothing can stop me from trying

Baby you know that
Maybe it’s time for miracles
Cuz I ain’t giving up on love
You know that
Maybe it’s time for miracles
Cuz I ain’t giving up on love
No I ain’t giving up on us

Baby can you feel it coming?
You know I can hear it,
Hear every soul,
Baby when you feel me feeling you

You know it’s time…

Baby you know that
Maybe it’s time for miracles
Cuz I ain’t giving up on love
You know that
Maybe it’s time for miracles
Cuz I ain’t giving up on love

You know I ain’t giving up on us
You know I ain’t giving up on
Oh I ain’t giving up on us